[Given the distance, it's still another hour or so before Viktor returns. When he does, it's quietly, in case Jayce actually did manage to fall asleep. That does, in fact, turn out to be the case. Viktor treads carefully, not wanting to put his weight on the bed to wake him, but still deeply curious about what he saw.
He slots his fingers against Jayce's forehead, pulls them both into the astral space. It's an unconventional way to multi-task, and he does have the thought that it might be intrusive, but Viktor thinks himself clever, to allow Jayce's body his rest while also answering his burning questions about the diffusion zones. He slips against Jayce the psychic plane the same way he might slide into bed alongside him.]
[ He doesn't need to hear it back, but he always hopes that he will, one day.
He's not been sleeping very long when Viktor returns, there's no nightmare to interrupt when he slips into Jayce's mind. The response to the body slotting in next to him is for Jayce to turn over, guiding Viktor's slim arms around himself as if they were in bed, back to chest. He hasn't fully registered the intrusive nature of the visit, that Viktor has entered his mind uninvited.
Late. Or early, if you prefer. I only just returned.
[He knows he's probably in trouble for this--for not asking--but it is difficult to resist, and he tells himself there's no harm in this particular instance. It's not as if he's peering into Jayce's dreams, just meeting him on a more intimate level than they're able to manage in the real world. Here, he indulges, resting his chin on Jayce's shoulder.
[ He half hums, half wordlessly grumbles at that answer, and rolls over in his arms to face Viktor properly. There's no real gravity here, no sense of anything solid along his side, though the space seems to accept that they're effectively horizontal right now. His hand traces down the line of Viktor's body, watching as colors ripple like water along the path of his touch. ]
I don't mind if you wake me up.
[ It's barely an admonishment. Had Viktor stumbled into his mind in the midst of conjuring something heavier, his reaction would be stronger - he's aware of that. He knows that he needs to set some kind of boundaries, for the sake of them both. But it's harder to enforce when there's no harm done, and when the stakes aren't so high anymore. ]
You looked very peaceful. I thought it a shame to disturb you.
[So here Viktor is, disturbing Jayce mentally, instead. Perhaps there is a sort of selfishness, too, in being able to visit him like this. Jayce doesn't startle at the sight of Viktor in the dark of the hotel room anymore, but the incompatibility of their physical bodies, and the fact that he can't sleep, is starting to wear on him. This is a reprieve for him, too.
His arms work their way around Jayce's shoulders. One hand slides down his chest and settles there. Here, in this space, Jayce can see the concerned pinch of his eyebrows.]
[ Jayce gives him a knowing look at that excuse, lifting a hand to stroke the backs of his fingers against Viktor's cheek. There's a question that's sitting on the tip of his tongue, has been for a little while now, that he's been struggling to put to words that won't be misinterpreted. Now, he almost tries again - but Viktor interrupts, bringing him back to earlier in the day, the reason he couldn't fall asleep.
The colors shifting across his body dim, becoming more muted. He lets his hand fall away from Viktor's face, burying his own face in the crook of his neck. The temptation to push through what only feels like a superficial barrier between what allows them to remain separate entities in this place remains, to slip wholly into one another, no end or beginning. In these months he's become better at setting the urge aside, but he lets it distract him now, going silent as he struggles with how he wants to explain what happened. He doesn't want to explain it at all, or to need to be comforted.
Slowly: ]
The diffusion zone was beginning to collapse when I arrived - I couldn't... I didn't get everyone out.
Edited (changed my mind, too much self-awareness in the brackets) 2025-11-07 19:12 (UTC)
[Viktor is patient, allowing Jayce the time he needs to find words--or just comfort in their touch. There's less weight to it here, and it feels more like a transfer of energy, their very atoms brushing together. He and Jayce have been intimate in this place enough times for Viktor to know just how to push past that strange barrier, but for now he leaves it intact.
It's not a confession, exactly, but he does sense that Jayce is shaken by what he's seen, and perhaps ashamed.]
Jayce--
[Again, he's struck by the idea that he could take this pain away. Another, more analytical part of him is intrigued by just what, exactly, he saw. The urge to provide comfort wins out, however, and he pulls his arm tighter around Jayce.]
[ That he tried won't bring any solace to the people left behind. That's something he'll deal with later, when he tries to figure out where the items they recovered should be returned to.
For now, he lets the contact fill what it can of that hollowness in his chest, until the light and color that makes up their forms better matches again, and he seems ready to continue with what he knows Viktor wants to hear about. ]
The zone was deteriorating so that somehow structures which shouldn't be permeable became permeable before it all faded as it normally does... or it must have faded.
[ He didn't stick around to watch. He hesitates for another second, then slips his hand around the back of Viktor's head, leaning in. Viktor can see what he saw earlier: Jinx, of all people, trapped in the wall - one moment her hand is covered in fresh blood, the next it's not. The focus remains on her, there's only the barest shape of another body below her, or part of a body - more like a shadow on a photograph. ]
[He does his best to imagine it, but the advantage of this space and their connection is that Viktor doesn't have to imagine it. Jayce presses their foreheads together and he can see it, too. The description of it is distressing--the image of it even worse.
Viktor wants to project comfort, but he can't help but be fascinated by the thought, and the idea that he would have liked to see it. The nature of the diffusion zones is the key to this place, he thinks. He wonders where all of that organic matter--human and otherwise--might have gone.]
You saved Powder.
[That's the conclusion he draws. Jayce says he wasn't able to get everyone out, but that simply isn't true.]
I thought about leaving her. [ he confesses, pulling back a few inches and shaking his head. ] Only for a second.
[ But the thought was there.
He lets his hand lower, moving across Viktor's shoulder and looks down at where the impression of his collarbone would be. Glides his thumb over that place, watching with narrowed eyes as the colors shift under his hand like ink spreading through water as something like a shiver runs through his own body. ]
Vi says she's changed.
[ Jayce said he believed her, but after today - he doesn't really know what to think. ]
[And that matters to Viktor. He has his own complicated thoughts about Jinx, but he'd meant it when he said he wasn't angry with her. Part of it is that he has no right to be, not after what he did to her, but they've mutually acknowledged that things might have been different, if Viktor was not in the council chamber that night.
He contemplates, for a moment.]
She would know better than either of us. [Or she could be holding on to the futile hope that a second chance really means something.] But I know you're still skeptical. I don't blame you.
[ Jayce tilts his head and lifts his gaze, studying Viktor's face, his eyes against the endless starlight.
Because you only ever blame yourself for everything, he thinks.
His eyes close again, and he tips forward to press his lips to where their foreheads touched, then his cheek, his mouth. There's none of his usual neediness in his touches now, this is gentle and reverent, an offering instead of an ask. ]
[The wordless glance says it all, and the sad smile that Viktor offers back is an assertion that he cannot help it. When he was the cause of so much death and destruction, he's not sure he'll ever stop feeling as though his existence is a curse.
He tells himself that Jayce is still here in spite of everything. Viktor lets Jayce kiss him and then reciprocating, indulging in what he's able to do here that he can't in the real world. Viktor can at least offer him that.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
phone call; (september)
Hey.
[ It's like 3am. He sounds tired. ]
Started driving back yet?
no subject
[It is possible that Viktor is doing this hands-free. He doesn't sound tired, predictably--neutral as always.]
I'm on the way. There's no need to wait up.
no subject
It's fine. Just needed to hear your voice.
no subject
There's worry in it now, though.]
Did something happen?
no subject
Reluctantly: ]
I think I witnessed a diffusion zone as it was destabilizing - I'll tell you about it when you get back.
no subject
I can stay on the line. If you want the company.
no subject
no subject
Does it matter? I will stay on the line with you until it does, if that's what you want.
no subject
It's alright. I should try to get some sleep. [ A pause, and rustling fabric. ] I love you.
no subject
[Given the distance, it's still another hour or so before Viktor returns. When he does, it's quietly, in case Jayce actually did manage to fall asleep. That does, in fact, turn out to be the case. Viktor treads carefully, not wanting to put his weight on the bed to wake him, but still deeply curious about what he saw.
He slots his fingers against Jayce's forehead, pulls them both into the astral space. It's an unconventional way to multi-task, and he does have the thought that it might be intrusive, but Viktor thinks himself clever, to allow Jayce's body his rest while also answering his burning questions about the diffusion zones. He slips against Jayce the psychic plane the same way he might slide into bed alongside him.]
no subject
He's not been sleeping very long when Viktor returns, there's no nightmare to interrupt when he slips into Jayce's mind. The response to the body slotting in next to him is for Jayce to turn over, guiding Viktor's slim arms around himself as if they were in bed, back to chest. He hasn't fully registered the intrusive nature of the visit, that Viktor has entered his mind uninvited.
This may as well be a nice dream.
He murmurs: ]
... what time is it?
no subject
[He knows he's probably in trouble for this--for not asking--but it is difficult to resist, and he tells himself there's no harm in this particular instance. It's not as if he's peering into Jayce's dreams, just meeting him on a more intimate level than they're able to manage in the real world. Here, he indulges, resting his chin on Jayce's shoulder.
Still, he won't lie.]
You're asleep.
no subject
I don't mind if you wake me up.
[ It's barely an admonishment. Had Viktor stumbled into his mind in the midst of conjuring something heavier, his reaction would be stronger - he's aware of that. He knows that he needs to set some kind of boundaries, for the sake of them both. But it's harder to enforce when there's no harm done, and when the stakes aren't so high anymore. ]
no subject
[So here Viktor is, disturbing Jayce mentally, instead. Perhaps there is a sort of selfishness, too, in being able to visit him like this. Jayce doesn't startle at the sight of Viktor in the dark of the hotel room anymore, but the incompatibility of their physical bodies, and the fact that he can't sleep, is starting to wear on him. This is a reprieve for him, too.
His arms work their way around Jayce's shoulders. One hand slides down his chest and settles there. Here, in this space, Jayce can see the concerned pinch of his eyebrows.]
You sounded worried, on the phone.
[Shaken, even.]
no subject
The colors shifting across his body dim, becoming more muted. He lets his hand fall away from Viktor's face, burying his own face in the crook of his neck. The temptation to push through what only feels like a superficial barrier between what allows them to remain separate entities in this place remains, to slip wholly into one another, no end or beginning. In these months he's become better at setting the urge aside, but he lets it distract him now, going silent as he struggles with how he wants to explain what happened. He doesn't want to explain it at all, or to need to be comforted.
Slowly: ]
The diffusion zone was beginning to collapse when I arrived - I couldn't... I didn't get everyone out.
no subject
It's not a confession, exactly, but he does sense that Jayce is shaken by what he's seen, and perhaps ashamed.]
Jayce--
[Again, he's struck by the idea that he could take this pain away. Another, more analytical part of him is intrigued by just what, exactly, he saw. The urge to provide comfort wins out, however, and he pulls his arm tighter around Jayce.]
It wasn't your fault. I know you tried.
no subject
For now, he lets the contact fill what it can of that hollowness in his chest, until the light and color that makes up their forms better matches again, and he seems ready to continue with what he knows Viktor wants to hear about. ]
The zone was deteriorating so that somehow structures which shouldn't be permeable became permeable before it all faded as it normally does... or it must have faded.
[ He didn't stick around to watch. He hesitates for another second, then slips his hand around the back of Viktor's head, leaning in. Viktor can see what he saw earlier: Jinx, of all people, trapped in the wall - one moment her hand is covered in fresh blood, the next it's not. The focus remains on her, there's only the barest shape of another body below her, or part of a body - more like a shadow on a photograph. ]
no subject
Viktor wants to project comfort, but he can't help but be fascinated by the thought, and the idea that he would have liked to see it. The nature of the diffusion zones is the key to this place, he thinks. He wonders where all of that organic matter--human and otherwise--might have gone.]
You saved Powder.
[That's the conclusion he draws. Jayce says he wasn't able to get everyone out, but that simply isn't true.]
no subject
[ But the thought was there.
He lets his hand lower, moving across Viktor's shoulder and looks down at where the impression of his collarbone would be. Glides his thumb over that place, watching with narrowed eyes as the colors shift under his hand like ink spreading through water as something like a shiver runs through his own body. ]
Vi says she's changed.
[ Jayce said he believed her, but after today - he doesn't really know what to think. ]
no subject
[And that matters to Viktor. He has his own complicated thoughts about Jinx, but he'd meant it when he said he wasn't angry with her. Part of it is that he has no right to be, not after what he did to her, but they've mutually acknowledged that things might have been different, if Viktor was not in the council chamber that night.
He contemplates, for a moment.]
She would know better than either of us. [Or she could be holding on to the futile hope that a second chance really means something.] But I know you're still skeptical. I don't blame you.
no subject
Because you only ever blame yourself for everything, he thinks.
His eyes close again, and he tips forward to press his lips to where their foreheads touched, then his cheek, his mouth. There's none of his usual neediness in his touches now, this is gentle and reverent, an offering instead of an ask. ]
no subject
He tells himself that Jayce is still here in spite of everything. Viktor lets Jayce kiss him and then reciprocating, indulging in what he's able to do here that he can't in the real world. Viktor can at least offer him that.]